The Finance Blogger


Rich Grandparents, Poor grandparents: What to do? Help!

Rich Grandparents, Poor grandparents: What to do? Help!What do you do when your children’s in-laws are well off and shower them and the grand children with gifts? As a grandparent, you would like to spend time with your kids and grand kids and provide them with some of the things you know they will like.  Kids are young and immature and sometimes they just do not understand when someone gives them something they really think they want and is expensive vs. something that is a lot less interesting and a lot less expensive.

How do you compete with rich grandparents? We think that the answer is that you do not compete in showering gifts on to the kids. We think that you can make a far stronger relationship with your kids and your grand kids by being there to help them when they need help.

Grandparents and Grand Kids

Grandparents come in all shapes and sizes some with money and some without money. They all have many strengths and weaknesses and we have found that what is important to little children is much different to children as they become older. In fact we noticed that with our grandchild it really does not matter just how rich a grandparent is.

In fact what matters is the amount of attention that you pay to them and how you treat them that really counts. You can give all of the gifts you want and pay for lots of things, but what it really comes down to is the quality time you spend with your kids and grand kids.

We think that whether you are poor grandparents or rich grandparents it really does not matter. It is the amount of quality time that you spend with them that counts. Even little children can tell when you are not paying attention or just tolerating them. When they see that you genuinely like spending time with them and love them, it really does not matter how much many things you give them. They know that you care and will gravitate towards you any time that you are around. This is what’s so great about being a grandparent, regardless of whether you are rich or not.

The other thing to remember is that it is not always a competition. In fact it should not be a competition at all between grandparents. Spoiling the child with all kinds of gifts is not going to teach them other than you can be counted on for expensive gifts. Would you rather be counted on to be at their hockey games, their sports activities or their plays or whatever things that they are in?  They will naturally gravitate to you and be more comfortable being around you. You will have more time to bond with them and they will appreciate this and just be comfortable around you.

Kids are not stupid. They quickly pick up on who gives them gifts and who spends time with them and who is there when something is needed by them. Whether it is a ride to the store, an ice cream cone or just a phone call, the kids know the difference between someone who is there for them vs. someone who showers them with gifts and then leaves.

Our bottom line is do not worry about the rich grandparents, focus more on being there for your kids and making sure they have time to get to know you and bond with you. Babysit, go to their games and be involved in their lives is the best way to show that you care. There is a fine line though, were you must not try to replace your kids roles as parents. Let them fill the parent role and you fill the grand parent role and everything will be fine.

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One Response to “Rich Grandparents, Poor grandparents: What to do? Help!”

  1. we went through this a few years ago. it is called the sandwich generation were you have kids and parents and have to look after them both. we did not have to worry about rich parents.

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