The Finance Blogger

We received the following email excerpt from our investment adviser and wanted to post it here for our readers. Here is Keep Market Declines in Perspective in verbatim. Also as of this update in Aug 2016, most people feel that there is another major adjustment in the markets coming which will get everyone concerned and excited. Well the adjustment in the markets never came as of Aug 2016 and now they are talking about the bull market continuing. The markets continue to roll along and increasing. Some people now feel that the DOW will hit 25000 before 2020. This is when I begin to get really nervous and we need to keep in mind the comments of sound minds and people who really know the markets over the long term. The comments of our investment adviser are even more important in situations like this one coming.

Everyone will have their own perspective on what they should do, however the important thing is to never sell low and lock in your losses. Read the following and then let us know what you think about the overall strategy of Keep Market Declines in Perspective.

With so much going on in the market and economy, I wanted to provide some perspective from Canadian Market Strategist Kate Warne. This advice will apply to many investors and they will find it helpful in forming their overall investment strategy.

Keep Market Declines in Perspective

Although the U.S. debt ceiling increase removed concerns about a possible U.S. government default, stocks have continued to decline based on several recent weak economic reports and worries about European debt. Revised U.S. gross domestic product (GDP) calculations showed growth was 0.8% in the first half of the year, which was much weaker than expected. While first-half growth in Canada was somewhat stronger, slower economic activity in the U.S. and around the world will have an impact on the Canadian economy. However, not all the news was bad. Canada’s most recent retail sales reading was better than expected, and while U.S. consumer spending declined slightly in June, as consumers turned cautious, the month of July showed they were becoming more confident.

Ups and Downs Are Common

Stocks have dropped by more than 6% over the past two weeks, and the TSX is down about 13% from the high it reached in April. Even though they can be unsettling, these types of stock market declines are common and not a reason to abandon your investment strategy. In fact, long-term investors frequently view them as opportunities to add quality investments at lower prices.

Historically, stocks have dropped by 5% about three times a year, and we’ve just experienced the second 5% decline in 2011. They’ve also dropped by 10% about once a year, which has occurred recently. And looking at last year, the TSX dropped about 10% in response to similar worries about European debts, but the market rebounded to end the year up nearly 15%.

A Bright Spot in Corporate Earnings

These reports also may suggest that U.S. job growth sputtered in July. This helped keep the U.S. unemployment rate high, since improving economic growth normally leads to hiring. Slow economic growth is certainly disappointing, but it can still be a good environment for investors. Many people may be overlooking strong second-quarter corporate earnings, which are up more than 30% over the past year. Companies in the TSX and S&P 500 are on track to reach new record high earnings this year, but their prices haven’t kept pace. As a result, we believe many quality companies are attractively valued.

Invest in Your Strategy, Not Your Emotions

Investing is more than buying when you feel good and selling when you feel bad. It’s about developing and sticking with a solid strategy that addresses your needs today as well as your long-term goals. It can be tempting to turn your back on your investment strategy, but we believe that is a mistake. You can’t control the market or the economy, but you can control how you react to them. If you find yourself reacting to every headline, it may help to take a step back and evaluate the longer-term positive trends in the economy and earnings. We believe they will ultimately matter more than the market’s short-term ups and downs.

The Finance Blogger – This is our first post on the finance blogger web site and we thought we would spend this post talking about why we started this site. Basically we  just are retired and trying to figure out what we should do with the rest of our life. We are financially secure, however there are a lot of decisions to make over the next few years which will have a huge impact on the quality of life that we have during our retirement years. We felt that it would be helpful to people like us to discuss these issues in a blog like this one.

First of all let me tell you that we like to travel and spend our winters somewhere warm, we like to have a nice car and we really enjoy our backyard. Our needs are pretty basic, and we have enough money to do what we want, but there are some things we have to prioritize. Like most people, there are more expenses associated with our lives than what we think we can handle unless we are really careful.

There is always more that you want to do and never enough money for all of those activities that you want to try. We thought that blogging about it would help us get through the process of deciding what to do and would help other people at the same time.

Retirement Planning Issues

Here are some of the issues we are facing, which we will talk about in subsequent posts.

• Replace our 2 year old car in 2 or 3 years
• Home maintenance :
  • Windows
  • Roof
  • Driveway replacement
  • Fence replacement
  • Pool liner replacement
  • Furnace upgrade
  • Furniture upgrade
• Still have a mortgage
• Still have loans
• Should we down size
• Should we move to a condo
• Or should we move to a bungalow
• Should we make a life style decision i.e. move away
• Should we purchase a vacation home
• How should we invest our retirement money
  • Blue chip dividend stocks, what stocks
  • Blue chip mutual funds, what mutual funds
  • AAA rated bonds, what bonds
  • Aggressive growth stocks and funds
• Should I continue working
  • Full time
  • Contract
  • Part time
• What will I do with my time
• What about the grand kids
• How much time should we spend with them
• Should I spend all my money or save for old age
• When should we transfer the house to the kids

With all of these questions and others we probably have not even thought of, it is almost easier to just do nothing and I suspect that this is what a lot of people actually do. It is just too difficult to resolve all of these issues or make decisions, so why not just leave it the way it is. These are some of the things we will try to talk about over the next months and years as we continue with our blog.

Finance Blogger – Many Consumers Like Us

We know that there are millions of seniors out there that are in the same situation as us and trying to resolve what they want to do. One friend of ours who is well off and really does not have to worry about money at all, wonders if he has enough money for retirement and is bored silly. He made the comment that he gets up in the morning, has a coffee, reads the paper and then watches the grass grow! What a way to retire!

Although this is not really a financial issue, we will include these sorts of issues as well since they affect the quality of life during retirement and ultimately how much money we will need during retirement. If you are bored, you will probably need to have more money because you are going to spend it! It may be a golf membership or it may be travel.

Anyway this is the end of our first post and we are looking forward to writing several posts a month, so bookmark us or follow us on Google reader so you do not miss our posts.

Your comments are welcome both on what we are writing as well as on topics that we have not addressed.

Snow Birds Renting Condos is a subject we are personally interested in. Since we regularly rent a vacation condo every year. It allows us to spend a month or more in a warm sunny climate. Millions of Americans and Canadians are itching to get away from the cold winters and dull skies every winter. They travel south and stay in everything from motels, hotels and rental condos. Many for periods of a couple of days to as much as 6 months at a time.

Snow Birds Renting Condos

There is always a danger when you book something over the phone or through the internet. Will you actually receive what you have contracted for, is there a contract and what are the conditions of the place you will be staying. Over the years we have been renting condos of this type we have had very good results, some better than others. However, we have heard and in a couple of cases seen what people have ended up with to their surprise and frustration.

Read Between the Lines

For many people who are excited about their upcoming vacation, there is a tendency to make assumptions about the place the go to. Pictures look great, description sounds great and friends have even stayed in the same complex in other years.  Yet when you arrive, the unit does not measure up and there is a lot of disappointment.

Here are a couple of examples that you may find interesting. Later we will give some suggestions about how to protect yourself from some of these situations.

Pool Not Heated

Who would ever expect that the pool would not be heated in the southern US during the month of March. The weather temperatures are in the 80’s and 90’s and yet the pool is not heated. The advertisement indicated that there was a pool and hot tub, for tenants to utilize, so would you not automatically expect a heated pool. Turns out they consider it to be winter and it is too expensive to heat the pool during the winter. What a huge disappointment and no recourse other than to never stay at this location again along with telling all of your friends! Here is a link to the place we rented in March, 2011 that had the unheated pool. Click Here!

Unit Not Clean

We have never had this issue, however several of our friends have had this unfortunate experience. Everything from dirty dishes, carpets and furniture that was in serious need of cleaning. Left with no choice, they are forced to buy cleaning supplies and clean the unit themselves to bring it up to their standards. This is clearly unacceptable, but what are you going to do in a foreign city or country with an absentee landlord and clearly unwilling to do anything about the situation.

Condo Not Well Equipped

Snow birds expect all of the basic amenities when they book a place and plan to stay there for the month. After all you are usually paying a lot of money, so flat screen TV’s, modern appliances, fully equipped kitchens  and all of the utensils and glassware are expected. Even a hair dryer should be available in the bathroom along with all linens and towels. All should be very clean and no marks or stains anywhere.

There is not much you can do if these things are missing, other than buy your own and try to get the landlord to pay for them. Once couple even went as far as buying dishes and a microwave for the unit they were renting. When they left, they stored these things with a friend rather than leave them with the cheap landlord. The place we rented in March 2011, did not even have wine glasses! here is the link. Click Here!

Read Your Contract, Ask Questions

There is not a lot you can do once you have paid your money and arrived. You can complain and maybe the landlord will do something. The time to make sure that everything that you are expecting will be included is before you sign the contract.

As we have experienced with the unheated pool, do not make assumptions. Confirm your assumptions and even have these things written into the contract to be sure that these items you have discussed will be included. Most landlord contracts are totally one sided to protect the landlord. They do not cover some of the things we have mentioned.

Pictures are not always accurate.

We have fond that pictures usually gloss over the details and do not portray how clean a unit really is. If there are pictures, do a quick inventory when you arrive to be sure that the items shown in the unit in the pictures are actually there so you will not be charged for them when you leave. You might even want to take your own video inventory just as a precaution.

Comments are welcome as are suggestions regarding on how to protect yourself when booking vacation rental locations. Our readers will appreciate any suggestions that you may have.

Have you ever been in this position? A group of you go to the restaurant to have a nice meal and the restaurant does not want to give you individual bills? This has happened to us on several occasions and it really bugs me when this happens. There are so many issues with this situation and invariably someone leaves being upset, because the bill does not get divided up properly. Dividing up group restaurant bills can be contentious.

We have encountered this situation several times, once in a foreign country and another in the US, with different outcomes and both had situations were people who are supposed friend got taken advantage of.

Dividing up Group Restaurant Bills

Here is a list of some of the issues and why you might want to avoid them if you can:

• Restaurant wants to charge a 15% to 20% tip automatically regardless of service. We have seen this happened and often the service is not even good. In fact it can be down right bad if a server or waitress gets flustered.
• Some people order expensive meals , while others order expensive meals. Some want to split the meal equally while others want the exact split. Problems all around calculating the tip, the amount, the tax etc
• Some people do not leave enough to cover their share. Either because they are cheap or because they just made a mistake. There can be a lot of frustration in this situation on both sides.
• If there is a dispute with the restaurant or between patrons, how do you resolve it. Who goes away upset. You can be sure that the restaurant will get what they feel they deserve, otherwise they just call the police.

Examples of Bad situations in Dividing up Restaurant Meals

This example was a combination of a bad waitress and some unethical people. The waitress only kept a tally of what everyone ordered. So for example if our group ordered 5 salads she recorded 5 salads and not who ordered them. The same approach was used for all of the other items as well.

When it came time to pay, we told the waitress what we had ordered. She ticked the number off and the person paid their share. Well when the last person came a long there were items ordered but not ticked off which they had not had. The waitress and the restaurant wanted to be paid or they were calling the police. Of course the members of our group had all scattered. It was left up to the last person to pay up.

Moral of the story is never let yourself get into this situation in the first place and never be the last one to pay.

Another Example

A second example happened to us recently. There was a group of 11 of us, each person ordering something different with no clear decision on how we were going to pay at the end. For example divide equally or figure out what each owed at the end. One guy even said to me we will likely divide equally so don’t go cheap. He was implying that we would not get our money’s worth.

We ended up figuring out what each person owed, however some people left early without seeing the bill and not knowing what the tax was and the tip was. This is a situation were the tip was automatic at 18% , not 10% or 15%. the service we received as not worth 10%, but who is going to argue when you are part of a large group? So did the people who left early leave enough? No one really knows.

We ended up being $20 short so two couples just through in $10 each with a look of frustration on their faces.

Why does this happen so often?

How to Avoid these Uncomfortable Situations

We think it is easy to avoid, it just takes a bit of planning, organization and negotiation.

Organization – it is hard to organize a group, but someone needs to ask before you get into the restaurant, how everyone intends to pay for their meal.  Split equally or calculate individually.

Planning – Bring a pen to use to do the calculations, ask for the bill before anyone leaves, make sure you have everyone’s money before they leave and a clear description of what everyone ordered.

Negotiation – If you are concerned about the tip, the auto inclusion of the tip, negotiate with the restaurant ahead of time for individual bills, or a fixed % for the tip. If you are a group of 10 or more the restaurant does not want to turn away potentially a large income from a group like that so they will negotiate and they will make sure they give you good service. It takes someone to lead the group and do the negotiation.

If you have comments on our post, please feel free to add them. If you have had this experience or something similar , leave a comment for our readers to learn from.

Credit card issuers in the United States are moving to a new credit card system for fighting fraud and are gradually migrating all of their customers to the new technology each time the consumer renews their cards.   Each new credit card will have an embedded computer chip that can store and process data more securely. Your new credit card looks exactly the same with two differences.

First there is a new marking on the card. Usually on the left hand side that looks like a small computer chip printed circuit board. This is the brains of the card. It contains all of your information including your pin number. The second major difference is a symbol on the right hand side of the card which looks like a series of   ))). This signifies that you can swipe your card against a reader for faster processing.

Swipe Credit Cards – Chip Credit Card

The chip is embedded in the plastic of the card. As a result this makes it harder to duplicate your information and produce a new card. It also increases the security when you make your purchase as well. Each time you use your card you personally must ok the expenditure. Also you must enter your pin number to approve the charge.  This is a great step forward and increases security and reduces fraud. We are not so sure about the second feature of these cards.

Swipe Function On Your Credit Card.

As we mentioned earlier, the second major difference is a symbol on the right hand side of the card. Which looks like a series of   ))). It signifies that you can swipe your card against a reader for faster processing. Any credit card terminal that displays the same symbol can be used to approve an expenditure. All you need to do is wave your card within an inch of the terminal.  Hence it is certainly fast and convenient but how safe is it in terms of fraud.

Imagine if your card is stolen. All the thief has to do is go to places with this symbol. They pass your card in front to purchase goods. There is probably a limit to how much you can purchase this way. Still, it is another way to have fraudulent expenses billed to your account based on this process.
Read the rest of this entry »

There is so much junk content available that it is tough sometimes to really know what is real and what is not real when you are looking at a page. We thought about this and decided to write a short blog about all of the different types of content just for fun. It is our opinion only and you may  not agree with it or you may feel that we missed some different types.

There is no order of importance or priority other than the supposed real stuff or non fiction is at the top and junk is at the bottom. Other than that there is no real order to this material. We have grouped a lot of stuff into major categories, so let us know if we have missed a few or have lumped some together that should not be. Comments that are constructive are always welcome.

Online Internet Content Types:

• Private sites- Government, corporate, scientific
• Public sites – Government, corporate etc for dealing with the public
• Information sites with real information
• News information sites
• Entertainment sites
• Social networking sites
• Personal information sites
• Propaganda sites runs by various organizations and government
• Content farms with some real content
• Content farms with no real content
• Porn sites, sex sites,
• Junk sites
• Domain name reservation sites

While this list may not be complete, it represents the vast sphere of information that you can fine online. There is a dangerous trend among the content generation business. This is the generation of content for the sole reason of attracting readers to click on advertisements. Some of this content is good stuff, but most is not in that they provide no value to the reader other than perhaps taking them to an advertisement that would give you some value.

Our Blog

This site you are reading is an example of a site that attempts to provide real content that can be useful to the reader. However this site depends on ad revenue to survive. In this case it is much like the news magazines or the self help magazines of the older days. They sold their copies for a small price. But really depended on the advertising revenue to exist. Same situation here, except that this site is free to the user to read and browse, even leave comments.

Competitive

The internet if nothing else is extremely competitive and an example of market forces at work. If you do not have good content over the long run, you will not do well and you must compete with a legion of people all over the world who are also generating great content as well as terrible content.

Leveling Factor

Google, Yahoo,Bing and other search engines are the levelers in the market. They are working hard to deliver real results when you do a search using their engines. No one wants to be delivered junk search results. The search engines are getting better a filtering the good stuff from the bad stuff and over time I think that real good content will win out over bad content that is not only poorly written, but does not contain any real value to the customer.

We also find that the search engines are updating their algorithm on a regular basis which will change the search results. Like all experiments, sometimes it is for the better and sometimes not. This is why our blog is hard to find right now. We hope the next search engine release will do a better job.

Lets hope this is true. If you have comments on these ideas or would like to see others discussed, please leave us a comment and well will be glad to add to them our blog.

A Definition of Prenuptial Agreements

A prenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, is commonly abbreviated to prenup. It is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement. Prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. Prenuptial agreements can vary widely. But typically include provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce. This could be based on the grounds of adultery. Further conditions of guardianship may be included as well.

Prenuptial Agreements – The Real World

Whether you have an agreement or not, it really depends on how the two parties deal with each other when it comes to separating. If both can handle things in a mature and fair manner then there are usually few problems. On the other hand sometimes one or both feel they have been slighted in some manner. They may feel taken advantage of  or want to gain as much in the way of assets as possible. A prenuptial agreement may help you. The emphasis is on “may”, since it really depends on the laws in your state or province. In addition the opinion of the judge and the circumstances around the reason for the divorce. Some will argue that it also depends on dependents. Also other factors such as how well the prenuptial agreement was written in the first place.

How Do you Know if You Need a Prenuptial Agreement?

The short answer is that you don’t know. If you both go into the marriage with basically nothing, you probably do not need a prenup. Since local laws are going to supersede anything that might have been agreed to anyway. On the other hand or other extreme, if you both go into the marriage with huge assets, then maybe you should arrange to have a prenuptial agreement drawn up to at least clarify what you each bring to the table. Gains in assets after the marriage have taken place are fair game.

While these extreme situations are pretty clear, the folks in between with some assets or perhaps one party having a great deal and the other very limited in terms of assets are the ones that sometimes suffer. We have all read about the Hollywood types or the multi millionaires  being taken for a s significant share of their wealth during a breakup. Athletes seem to have this occur to them on a fairly regular basis. Somehow you need to protect yourself from these situations even if it is to limit the damage to what might be considered fair at the time.

Common Sense

It seems from all of the news we have read that the common sense thing to do if you have significant assets is that you should take the time to draw up a prenuptial agreement just in case. There are several reasons for making this statement. First you cannot predict what will happen these days with your marriage when over 50% in failure. Second, it is the same as taking out insurance. You hope that you will never need to cash in on your insurance policy, but you are really glad that you have a policy if you have an accident etc. Prenuptial agreements can be similar.

Discussing prenuptial agreements with your spouse !

For some this can be a delicate situation. If there is some resistance and you are bringing all of the assets to the relationship, perhaps you should be a bit wary. Granted, discussing a prenuptial agreement as part of a marriage may take some of the romance out of the wedding and the relationship, it is really a business decision that can impact your personal and business wealth. Don’t allow emotions to get in the way of making these kinds of decisions.

We are obviously not lawyers, just writers looking at this subject from a common sense perspective. If you feel that you may need a prenuptial agreement, talk to a competent lawyer in this field and make a decision regarding your need to have a prenuptial agreement prior to your marriage.

Comments are welcome as long as they are deemed to help our readers understand this complex and emotional subject.

Your ready to sell your home and your agent is telling you that you need to have an open house! Perhaps your home has been on the market for a while and you have had many open houses. Yet no one is buying or even giving you a chance to negotiate with them. Is it worth it to have another Open House? Many people believe that open houses are just another way for agents to make more contacts and obtain more clients. Yes they do find more contacts this way for them and for you as well at all of the open houses they run.

Is an open house worth the effort?

There is lots of work to agreeing to an open house. An open house is usually not the major marketing tool that agents will rely on when they’re trying to sell a property. Many real estate agents believe that open houses serve more to attract semi-interested prospects rather than serious buyers. It is a way for potential buyers to meet agents and express what they are looking for in a home. Agents admit that few sales traditionally come directly from an open house. As well, the Internet is also making open houses even less valuable. Buyers can view your home online and take a virtual tour of the home from the comfort of their own home across town or even in another city. But there are agents and homeowners who view open houses as an effective marketing tool that does help with sales.

When Should You Avoid an Open House

There are times when an open house is not practical at all, such as if a house is off the beaten path or in a gated community. Both situations involve a lot of extra work, especially in a gated community. Likewise, it might be best to avoid an open house on a shabby listing or one that requires a lot of work. It probably won’t get much traffic, and agents will be reluctant to have their name advertised heavily in association with it.

However, an open house can be a valuable opportunity to get feedback about what is and isn’t attractive about your house. It can be a little shocking and even maddening to hear some of the comments. You have to separate the comments into personal taste comments from those that are really constructive criticism.  If there are good suggestions or comments, sometimes it can be worthwhile acting on them. But it is not a good idea to hold them too often, as they can send a signal that the house is market warn or a tough property to sell.

On the other hand, in a hot seller’s market where houses are selling rapidly there is often no need for an open house. If the MLS listing and posting pictures on the Internet are already generating enough traffic of people who want to see your home  an open house is also no longer necessary.

Internet Listings

The development of Internet listings and other online state information is quickly making open houses more of an option, rather than a requirement for selling a home. Virtual tours of homes have made it easier for potential buyers to decide ahead of time if they want to invest the time in traveling to see your home.

Make Sure You Do a Good Job of Holding an Open House

Many agents believe that an open house is only worth having if it’s done properly and this includes sprucing up the house and its landscaping and advertising it well in advance.

Clean like crazy before the open house, preferably with good smelling organic cleaners that won’t upset anyone’s allergies. Clear the clutter, pets, toys and even extra cars from the garage. Draw back the drapes, clean the windows and remove the screen so the most light shines in., trim the hedges . Mow the lawn,and put some blooming flowers in pots by the doorway.

To increase traffic, try some unusual marketing strategies, like holding your open house during rush hour, or coordinating your open house with others in the neighborhood.

Manage Your Expectations

Not every open house will be popular and not every open house will generate a sale as we have discussed. Make sure you meet with your agent after the open house is finished to get feedback. They should cover at minimum the following:

• Number of visitors
• How many were neighbors vs people who are looking
• Are there any people coming back for a second look
• What were the positive comments
• Are there negative comments
• What do you need to do about the negative comments
• What are the next steps

If your agent cannot answer these questions or is unprepared to address these items, then you may have just wasted your time in agreeing to have an open house.

Whether you’re an agent or a home owner looking to sell your home, please feel free to leave comments on this post to help our readers understand the entire area of open houses and why you should or should not have open houses.

Lately I have been doing some work for a customer of mine that I was initially a little unsure about. So I thought I would blog about it here and see if there was any reaction within the online community.

These are short fictional stories about people who are looking for loans. Basically anyone who falls into any of these descriptions has not got a hope in hell of getting a loan. Some of them are down right funny. While others are so sad that you wonder what these people would do if they were real. They are stories about people hoping to borrow money under really difficult financial circumstances. Which makes it unlikely that they will be able to be approved for this loan.

Reality or Imagination

The problem is that based on the reading I have done over the years and the stories we watch on TV, there are millions of people who fall into the category that would never qualify for a loan. In fact they should never be given a loan since they have no way of ever paying it back. They either do not have enough income, or if they do, they have no idea of how to manage their money and would treat the loan as almost like winning the lottery.

Now before everyone gets upset with me, I am just reporting what my opinion is. There are thousands of people who do not fit into this category, but there are a lot that do. For those people someone must sit down with them and show them how to manage money, how to save money and how to build up a good credit rating.

Again, all of those people who might be mad at me at this point should stop and think for a minute. What have you done lately to help anyone who needs a loan, who needs some cash  and who needs help to manage their money? In other words don’t throw stones when you live in a glass house.

Online Loan Applications

Anyway back to the online loan applications. I wonder how many people actually apply for loans online and give such crazy stories that they will never even be considered for a loan? We think there are a lot based on the comments to many of our posts about what people are looking for.

For example!

What about the guy who just got out of jail? Does not have a job and barely has enough to get by on. He could apply but would not be considered. It is just too high a risk for the lenders to take in regard lending money.

What about the person who has huge credit card bills, a so so job and bad credit. Would you ever loan them any money. Not me. Again the risk for the lender is just too high.

What about the person who is perpetually late on making their payments? Loans, credit cards, utility bills, it really does not matter. What matters is that all of this gets put on a credit report somewhere and they get to have the worst credit rating possible. No loan for them.

Summary

So if you are looking for an online loan application, try to make some sense out of it and have a good story that the loans manager can at least consider. No bad credit, no late payments, limited debt, good job , well paying job, a job that you have worked at for a while and a history of repaying loans. Make sure you have a bank account that shows no checks passed with insufficient funds. You just might qualify for a loan!

There is no time like the present to start to plan your savings and taxes you need to pay next year than right now. Sounds melodramatic doesn’t it. Well when I posted this particular post, it was April 7th and consumers living in the United States were almost finished with their tax filing. Which is due April 15th and Canadians had until the end of April to complete theirs. While all of this information is fresh in your mind, why not give some thought to next years taxes. How you can decrease the amount of tax you owe to the government?

Plan Your Savings and Taxes for  Next Year

If you have just finished your tax filing, this is a good time to set an appointment with your accountant. Begin planning for the following year in an effort to minimize your taxes. Let’s be very clear, there is nothing wrong with using legal means to find and use deductions to minimize your taxes. Using fraudulent claims and deductions that are not allowed in the eyes of the tax department is wrong and illegal. That is why you hire an accountant to keep you from being fined by the tax department or worse going to jail.

Last years taxes are done and there is nothing you can do unless you own a company. Personal taxes are completed. In some jurisdictions you can refile corporate taxes and average the tax owing so that you pay less tax. This is perfectly legit. However you have to plan for this and make sure that all deductions are in order and that you have shown all income properly.

Planning at the end of one tax year filing date is the best time to do this for the current and upcoming years.

Start With a Budget

If you need to contribute to an RRSP or a 401K, then you have to know what your budget is, how much you have coming in and how much will be left over after all bills are paid. Don’t forget to save some for yourself and the rest should go to savings and tax deductible savings if possible to minimize your taxes.

Some times doing a budget like this will identify that you are spending more than you are bringing in. This is the time to do something about it before you get into a bad debt situation. Rein in those expenses and put some money away for a rainy day in your savings account or in your tax deductible account.

Budgeting is tough and sticking to the budget is even more difficult. However like any thing we have to work hard for, the pay off is worth it. Financial independence, lack of worry and stress and savings for a rainy day make it all worthwhile.

Track your Budget Plan

Once you have a budget plan in place the next step is to track your budget every week. I do mine on Saturday mornings. Doing it once a week means that it does not take a lot of time. It helps me identify problems quickly if I am tending to go off my budget.

You will likely need to make mid course corrections, however this should be expected and anticipated. Examine what has changed, and what you need to change to get back on track. Develop a plan that takes you back to meeting your goal so that you can achieve your financial objectives. Which among others means minimizing the tax you pay.

We are going to write more posts along these lines. If there is a particular subject you would like to see, please leave a comment. Also if you comments on what we have written, those are welcome as well. Spam comments will be auto deleted.

Tax deadlines are approaching in Canada and the United States. In Canada our taxes are due on the last day of April,. While in the United States the 15th of April is the usual deadline. For those of you who do your taxes on time, you spare yourselves  the stress and frustration of filing late or getting your tax filing in at the last moment. If you owe money and you are late, there are tax penalties. They will cost you more money than you are already paying.

Tax Deadlines are Approaching

There are many millions of people who go down to the wire either because they are missing some key piece of data or they just procrastinate and leave it to the last minute. Either way, most consumers will benefit by being organized and taking full advantage of all of the deductions that are legally allowed by their respective governments. The best time to do an initial tax assessment is before the year end so that if there are last minute tax adjustments you want to make to reduce your taxes, you still have time to take those steps.

Do it Your Self or Hire a Professional?

This is often the big dilemma for many consumers. The fact of the matter is that unless you have a simple straightforward tax form to fill out, you are likely going to miss a deduction and pay more tax to the government than you should. There also may be deductions which you are eligible for, but have not even heard of. The tax laws change every year and as a non practicing accountant it is very tough to stay current with all of the new laws and deductions that might be available.

If you are not good with numbers, do not have the time, or just feel intimidated by the complex tax forms, they you are probably better off to do your taxes in advance with an accountant. You may have to pay a bit more for his or her fee, which by the way is tax deductible, it can be well worth it and you will not have the stress of wondering if you are going to be audited due to a simple mistake.

Plan Ahead

Note that if you suddenly decide a month before your taxes are due to use an accountant, you may have a difficult time to find an accountant to take you on as an account. They are extremely busy at this time of year and usually have a full list of customers that they have already committed to in terms of completing their tax filings.

They may take you on, however they may specifically not commit to completing your filing on time, which puts you in a real difficult situation should your return be late and subject to penalties.

Talk to your prospective accountant early in the year and begin tax planning now for this year and for next year with the idea of minimizing your income tax payable. Why so soon, well sometimes you need to make the expenditure, the RRSP investment, the 401K investment in the year you want to deduct and it may take some commitment and savings on your part to meet these deadlines. Planning ahead and knowing exactly what you are going to do well in advance is much easier to accommodate and takes the stress of you.

It all sounds good, but sometimes it is really difficult to do and this is where your tax planner can help you by reminding you that you must make dome deposits etc to prepare for your taxes.

Comments are welcome.

For many years Canadians have looked on the US and been envious with the lower taxes on virtually everything compared to what Canadians are paying. Sure we have better health care in that everyone is covered. But what many American do not know is that we must wait a long time to get the care we need. They are seen within weeks, where we must wait months or years to see a specialist. That is really the subject of another post which we will discuss sometime in the near future. For now, are taxes going up?

This post is more to do with taxes that Americans currently pay and were they are probably going to go. Of course I have to say up front that this is from a Canadians perspective watching what is going on in the United States, knowing what we pay here in Canada.

Are Taxes Going Up – What Will Impact the Taxes You Pay

Consider that you have the following things that are going to contribute to these potential tax increases:

• The Afghanistan war
• The Iraq war
• The Health Care bill
• The negative economy generating less tax income
• Interest rates are on the rise
• State governments are broke
• Most likely Municipal Governments are broke as well

All of these items have huge bills associated with them and income from tax generated areas is way down as well. Somehow the government has to pay for all of this stuff and it does not come free no matter how much money you print. So where is it going to come from? Here are a few areas:

Gasoline – Canadians are paying $4.53 per US gallon, while many states the price of gas is under $4.00 per US Gallon. Here is a big opportunity to increase the income for states as well as the federal government.

Beer, Wine etc – Again Canadians pay from $30 to $40 per case of 24 bottles of beer. In the US we have bought cases of 36 for around $20. Another huge increase all on the consumer is possible here as well.

Sales Tax – In Canada  right now, we are paying 13% were in many states that we have traveled through, the tax is around 8 or 9%. Even in cash strapped California, it is only 8.75%

It is well known that taxes on income are much lower for US workers than Canadians.

Health Care Tax Increases

Yes you have to pay for health care, however so do we. Most Canadians pay $600 a year as a surcharge on their taxes for health coverage. This may not sound like much,  however you still have to pay for all of your drugs, dental and Vision coverage on top of everything that the government pays for. The real big advantage for Canadians  is that you will not go bankrupt from medical bills. You might die before you get treated,  but you will be covered!

These are just a few examples of what is coming to the US consumer as governments in the US try to find ways to generate more income to help them meet their bills. Oh and I forgot, one other area. This is what we call user fee’s.

Every time you go to a park, use a hockey rink, rent a soccer field, all of these fees are going to be increasing as well. In short we are about to see a huge inflationary spike driven by increasing government taxes and the rising cost of oil which impacts everything.

Get ready America, there is going to be a lot less money in your pocket and more in the hands of government! They will spend it on some good things and they will also waste it on many things that you will not agree with, but rest assured you will be paying a lot more taxes than you are today, if you are working.

Comments are welcome, either agreeing or disagreeing. Just keep it clean and professional.

We decided to write about this subject on our blog. Since it is likely to impact all of us sooner or later. Many of the states are in a severe budget crisis, including the state of Wisconsin.  Wisconsin Balancing Their Budget hit the news recently. Now we are certainly not experts in this field. However the governor of Wisconsin is telling us he has a significant shortfall between the money coming in and the money going out. Then it is time to sit up and listen. There have been many posts recently talking about other states as well that have the same problem. Especially California who it has been said is broke.

Wisconsin Balancing Their Budget – What are the Solutions

The solutions are pretty simple, although very difficult to implement as seen by the current news items covering Wisconsin. What are the solutions?

• Borrow more money
• Cut expenses
• Increase taxes
• Do all of the above!

Only the US government can print money, the states are not allowed to print money of any kind, so their options are more limited than the US government.

The solutions above are no different than they would be for your personal situation if you were faced with not enough money to pay your bills. It has to come from somewhere. Let’s take a look at each and see what the pitfalls are.

Borrow More Money

The state is no different than you or I. If you borrow money, you have to pay it back sometime and you must pay interest on the money your borrow. Borrowing money just increases your problem and really over the long term can make the situation much worse. At some point the state will not be able to borrow any more since lenders may consider them a bad risk. Same as you or I trying to borrow money from a bank. If you cannot show that you will be able to repay the loan, they will stop lending to you.

Cut Expenses

Right now, Wisconsin is in the news because this is exactly what they are trying to do. Unfortunately the unions are viewing this as an attack on them along with their members, because they will have to give up some of the gains they have received in past years. Roll backs in wage increases, benefits removed etc are all on the table. Obviously they are upset, but then the people in the private sector do not have a lot of sympathy. This is exactly what they went through in the past two years with lost jobs and salary cuts.

Wage decreases, layoffs  and new hire reductions are probably on the way for many state employees in the state of Wisconsin!

Increase Taxes

Taxes are going to go up! Not just state taxes, but every area were the state collects money from residents. Traffic tickets and fines, tourism taxes, income taxes, property taxes, downloading to municipalities, entry fees to state parks and on and on.

We have seen this in other countries, notably Canada, and it will come to this in the state of Wisconsin as well. The state simply must generate more funds to use to pay its bills.

The Reality

The reality is that the State of Wisconsin and likely most if not all of the other states will have to do the same thing. California recently has already doubled traffic ticket fines and there is a lot more to come.

The big question is whether they can cut expenses enough, raise taxes and borrow enough money to see them threw this current crisis? It does not help when government employees are demonstrating, however if these steps are not taken, they are going to lose their jobs in a big way, because the state will have no alternative, but to lay them off and then services to the general population are going to suffer big time.

We are going to write more about this subject, however if you have comments about this subject, feel free to leave your comments. Please keep them constructive and too the point.

Seniors without wills is a subject we have written about previously, however a recent personal situation came to our attention and we just had to post another article about this subject. It is so important to have a will. Yet many people do not have a will. They really have no idea of the risks they are taking. Nor do they seem to care about the hardship and difficulty that they are putting their families potentially through.

Seniors Without Wills – A Personal Situation

A friend of ours who is 65 still does not have a will! He is now retired and he has a spouse and two married children, both with children of their own. Pretty typical family with the exception that neither he nor his spouse have a will. There seems to be no intention to have one prepared.

What makes matters worse is that he is beginning to display the symptoms of Alzheimer’s! He is not in any real difficulty yet. However he is very forgetful and often needs to be reminded by his wife. This man was really sharp at cards and would often be able to tell you many of the hands that were just played. Now he sometimes forgets what game he is playing and how to play many of the games. Obviously we are very concerned.

Spousal Input

His wife spoke to me about who to talk to about having a will drawn up and I provided our lawyers name and number. This was over 2 months ago and they still have not made an appointment. There is no immediate rush in terms of my friends forgetfulness, yet at age 65 and overweight, it is a good idea to have a will drawn up.

In his case, he believes that with a will prepared he is one step closer to the grave instead of making sure that his affairs are in order and that all of his assets are distributed in the manner he desires.  A living will would also give his spouse the right to manage his health when he cannot.

His spouse on the other hand, although younger is reluctant to even discuss it with her husband because of his strong feelings about them. This is a really difficult situation, since she also does not seem to be aware of investments that the couple have. Not a good situation at all.

The Basics That you Need to Think About

There is no solution really to this situation. If he does not want to prepare a will, there is nothing anyone can do about it. We will summarize the basics of a will to show just how simple and straightforward they can be:

• Assets go to the surviving spouse
• Assets are split between surviving spouse, children and grand children
• Special designations are indicated
• Trust funds although unusual for most consumers can be set up
• Care takers for children are identified
• Funeral and other special requirements are specified
• Instructions regarding measures to be taken for medical care

Your lawyer will discuss all of this and any other special requirements that you may have which might differ from those above. They will prepare the will , review it with you  and then you sign it with your lawyer witnessing it. They keep a copy and you receive a copy. It is that simple and yet it makes life for your surviving relatives so much easier.

If you are in this situation, don’t wait until it is too late. It does not bring you closer to the grave. Instead it shows someone who is mature and thoughtful about life and wants to do the right thing for your family. It allows you to make sure that your spouse and children are properly looked after and special considerations are taken care of. Finally if you are part of the growing distributed family situation with ex-spouses and step children it is even more important that you have a will and that your assets are distributed in the manner you wish.

Do it now, don’t procrastinate! Comments welcome as are suggestions!

Selecting a lawyer can be difficult , particularly when you are under stress because of a police charge or some other traffic offense or legal issue. Most people when it comes to selecting a lawyer will talk to a family friend or someone at the office and asked for a recommendation. What you’ll get when you ask these questions is probably the lawyer that person or family uses for preparing wills, real estate transactions, or setting up a small business. The majority of people do not have experience with lawyers defending traffic infractions or other more difficult charges such as DUI offenses and it can be difficult to find a qualified lawyer to mount a defense for you under those conditions. Finding the right lawyer may mean the difference between a conviction and not.

Selecting a Lawyer – First Step

The first step in selecting a lawyer should be to look for a lawyer that matches the area of law that you need. For example if you are purchasing a home then obviously a real estate lawyer would be your first choice. Someone who specializes in closing real estate transactions whether it is your home or small business. On the other hand if you need someone to defend you over a traffic violation or worse a charge of reckless driving or something similar you will want to choose a lawyer who has had courtroom experience.

After narrowing your search of lawyers in the area of law that you need, you can then look for review ratings and client review of the lawyers that you’re looking at. You may want to interview several lawyers if you have a difficult case that you need help with. Be prepared to pay if your case is difficult and will take a long time to resolve.

Twelve Questions to Ask Your Lawyer

Here are 12 questions that you might consider asking the potential lawyer that you may hire to help you with your situation:

• what is your experience in this field
• have you handled matters like mine
• what are the possible outcomes of my case
• what are my alternatives in resolving this matter
• approximately how long will it take to resolve
• do you recommend mediation or arbitration
• what are your rates and how often will you bill me
• what is a ballpark figure for the bill, including fees and expenses
• how will you keep me informed of progress
• what kind of approach looks at what you take to resolve the matter – aggressive and unyielding, or will you be more inclined to reach a reasonable settlement
• who else in the office working on my case
• Can junior attorneys or paralegals in the office handles some of the substantive legal work at a lower rate

The answers to these questions will be very helpful for you to select a lawyer that will best meet your needs and will ensure that you have the desired outcome that you’re looking for.

Other Considerations

As an example if you are looking for a divorce lawyer, and the lawyer that you interview indicates that they will be aggressive and non-yielding, you could end up with a very large legal bill after your case is settled if your spouses lawyer takes the same approach. A friend of mine fell into this situation where both lawyers were aggressive and would not negotiate. There was a legal battle in court and my friend ended up with a huge five figure legal bill. Of course it did not help when my friend was also aggressive and had decided that his ex-spouse was not going to get much of his asset base.

Neither his spouse nor himself ended up with any money after the divorce due to the long protracted legal battle. A lawyer who seeks a reasonable settlement will likely find a fair solution for both parties at minimum cost.

When requesting legal services you must understand that there is a need to manage the lawyers services that he is providing. If you want a lawyer to be aggressive, he will be aggressive. If you want a lawyer to reach a settlement quickly instruct him to do this. He will find a reasonable way to get to a settlement quickly. The outcomes are much different and the bill for his services can also be quite different. You must find someone you can work with. You must find someone who will follow your direction, and someone who will provide you with excellent legal advice prior to making any decision.

Listen to Your Lawyers Advice

A good client will also listen to his or her lawyers recommendations regarding how to proceed with the case.

The comments in this post are not intended to be providing legal advice. Instead it was posted to help people look at the common sense process of selecting a lawyer.  It also looked at some of the ramifications regarding the decisions you might make. Please provide comments or additional ideas regarding this post. You can also add comments regarding other issues that or readers may want to consider.

Credit card issuers in Canada are moving to a new system for fighting fraud and are gradually migrating all of their customers to the new technology each time the user renews their cards.   Each new credit card will have an embedded computer chip that can store and process data more securely. Your card looks exactly the same with two differences.

First there is a new marking on the card. Usually on the left hand side that looks like a small computer chip printed circuit board. This is the brains of the card and contains all of your information including your pin number. The second major difference is a symbol on the right hand side of the card. It looks like a series of ))) which signifies that you can swipe your card against a reader for faster processing.

When you present your card for payment at a store, you will enter a personal identification number, just as you do for debit cards. The new cards will still have a magnetic stripe on the back to ensure they are accepted in other countries. Or by vendors that have not yet adopted the chip technology in their card readers. Most Canadian Venders now accept these chip cards and use chip card readers.

New Chip Credit Cards – Why Use This New Technology

The reason the credit card companies are adopting this new technology is to reduce the amount of fraud that they are experiencing due to stolen and copied credit cards. The advantages of these new chip credit cards are:

• The card never leaves your eyesight, because you need to plug it into the reader and then enter your pin number
• The card is much more difficult to copy
• The pin number is private ( never write it down or give it to anyone else)

For those of you who have not used one of these cards yet, they are pretty easy to use. First of all the vendor must have a terminal that is equipped with the new reader for chip cards. All you need to do is to plug it into the card reader at the bottom and leave it there until the transaction is completed. Once it is plugged in it is a simple manner to follow the instructions on the screen to approve the transaction and then enter your pin number. Once approved, the card reader will automatically print a receipt for you.

Adding Tips to the Transaction

You can even add tips to the transaction if you are using your card at a restaurant. Be careful though. The last one I used, gave me two choices. One was an automatic 20% tip which I thought was a little rich. So I used the other selection which allowed me to select either a dollar amount or a different percentage.

Overall, I like this new approach. I am in control of my card at all times and there is less chance of fraud with the card, which protects the card holder as well as the bank. The waiter told us that one store in the mall that we were in , had a card reader ( unknown to the owners) that had a double reader inside. One was for the transaction and the other was to read the information on the strip so that it could be copied. With a chip reader this problem goes away!

So far, Visa is saying that they are extending their zero liability policy to the chip cards. Still you need to make sure that you keep your pin number private, don’t give it to anyone and do not write it down to protect yourself and the card company. If in doubt check with your credit card company. One important point is that if you do a lot of transactions over the phone, never give your pin number out. There is no need to provide it and if asked, by a vendor, you are probably being set up for a fraudulent transaction!

More Questions

If you have more questions about your new chip credit card, don’t hesitate to call your credit card company. They are the only ones that give you specific answers based on the agreement they have with you. Anything else you get from anyone can only be a general answer at best.

Vacant homes and house insurance is something every snow bird needs to consider. A friend of mine went away for the winter. He made arrangements for his son to check on his house whenever he was in the neighborhood. Living in a cold climate it is important to make sure that the heat is on to avoid pipes freezing. This situation can cause lots of water damage when the house finally warms up. Anyway his son was checking but on a semi regular basis. One day he goes in to his dad’s house and there is water everywhere. Apparently the heat had been off and the pipes froz. The pipes split and there was water everywhere! $95,000 later and lots of frustration, his house was back to normal about 6 months later.

Vacant Homes and House Insurance

What most people do not know is that unless you have your home checked on a regular basis the insurance company could choose to not cover your claim! This can be a very expensive surprise!

How To Avoid Making an Insurance Claim

So what do you do to avoid any possibility of having your claim denied and even better to avoid having to make a claim at all?

The first step is to call your insurance company and inquire what the rules are. They all differ, so please make the call. We will use an example in this post, but it is only representative and should not be taken as a guideline. One company we know indicates that during the winter if the water is not turned off, you need to have someone check the home every day to make sure that the heat is on and that there is no running water.

If you do turn the water off, then once a week is fine as far as they are concerned. This is a huge difference especially if you need to pay someone to check your home every day.  Failing to meet their requirements could mean that your claim will be denied which could be a very expensive proposition. Another issue to consider is to also have someone document that they visited at the required number of times and can prove that the home was monitored.

Hire a Home Monitoring or Property Management Company

The next step is to arrange for a friend, a neighbor, a family member to check on your home on an agreed to schedule. The schedule is important to make sure that your insurance is maintained and there are not issues with claims if you should happened to need to make one. Friends, neighbors and family members have busy schedules and sometimes cannot commit to meeting the schedule that you need.

Another approach is to hire a company that specializes in this service to look after your home while you are away. A home sitting or property management firm will present you with a contract and a checklist to review. Professional companies of this sort will make sure that the schedule is maintained. Perform all checks based on your needs. Many will also send an email report after each visit to ensure that you have peace of mind while you are away.

But I Don’t Want a Complete Stranger in My Home

This is a huge concern for many people. A complete stranger has full access to your home while you are away. If you are uncomfortable with this, then do not hire a stranger, hire your friends or family members. Just make sure that someone is looking after your home while you are away.

If you do decide to hire a property management company, there are a few things you can do to protect your home and your self. Always ask for references, ask for a contract, ask for a checklist of tasks. Make sure you receive a copy of all documents and if you have anything of value such as jewelry etc, it only makes sense to lock it away or take it with you.

Most companies are completely honest and you should not have any worries. However this is a service that is being sold to you and you should manage the delivery of the service in a professional manner.

If you have had experience with property managers or home sitters, feel free to leave some comments. We would love to hear them, especially any pointers you might have that will help our readers.

Car Insurance – Do You Have Enough coverage? Anyone who drives a car probably always worries a bit when they get into their car. Do they have enough car insurance coverage. I know I do. Every time I talk with my insurance friends I feel like I can never have enough insurance. I am not talking about repairs to your car or the other guys. This is bad enough. It could cost you a lot if you really damage an expensive car. This is not life threatening, it will just put a big hole in your net worth. But let’s put things in perspective. What is the cost to cover serious medical issues involving hospitalization over a long time with possible physio therapy? These kinds of accidents could cost millions! This is what I worry about and how my family will survive if I cannot earn income!

I am not an expert and any comments in this blog should be taken as is and not from an expert. If you have questions or do not understand something speak to your agent and get it clarified. But just make sure you have enough car insurance to look after your family if you do have an accident.

Car Insurance – Do You Have Enough

There are at least 3 major types of car insurance that you need to consider. They are : Car Insurance – Collision, Car Insurance – Liability, and Car insurance – Comprehensive.

Car Insurance – Collision is really the insurance you carry to cover your car and the car you hit in the event that you have an accident. If you live in an area were no-fault insurance is in place, then it will cover the repairs to your vehicle after a collision. There are always issues that you need to be aware of with each policy so take the time to read the fine print and make sure you are covered for all of the things that you feel that you need to be covered by.

Car insurance – Comprehensive covers minor repairs to your car were there is no collision with another vehicle. Cracked windshields, broken mirrors, scratched paint etc are covered by comprehensive insurance. Many people with older cars will stop this insurance, preferring to pay for any repairs themselves. Consumers must be careful that when they stop this kind of coverage, that coverage that they may need are not stopped because they are bundled together with the main comprehensive coverage.

Car Insurance –

Liability is the big one for you and for the other guy. If you are at fault or cause damage to another persons property,  the courts may decide that you must repay the other person all of the damages that were caused. In some situations these costs can be huge as mentioned earlier and your insurance company will be very interested in understanding who was at fault, whether there was any negligence on your part. They will represent you, however the numbers involved can be large.  Many people feel that even $2 million of coverage is not sufficient.

When to Stop Car Insurance – Many people feel that you should never stop any kind of car insurance. While others feel that it is ok to stop comprehensive coverage and nothing else. Many states and provinces require you to show evidence of liability and collision coverage before you can obtain a car license plate or even to renew one. Bottom line is that you want to make sure that you and your family are protected. This includes avoiding bankruptcy due to an accident.

Drinking and Your Car Insurance – is a particularly important issue. You may have enough hassle getting a DUI ticket, but if you cause an accident because you were drinking, your insurance may not be valid. If you are concerned at all about this issue check with your insurance company to find out what their position would be if you had an accident and you were drinking. It is important to clarify if you are under or over the legal drinking limit for your state or province were you live!

We hope these comments have helped to clarify things. Feel free to post comments that will help our readers. Spam will be deleted.

We have all heard of two adults getting divorced and fighting over the kids. They make it sound like they want the best for the lids but is that really true? Who has access , when they have access and who can decide. Divorce and the Kids is a huge issue for all families. This is a battle that gets fought out in court. Often in family court, in front of friends and family sometimes and sometimes even in front of the kids.

It is a shame when one parent will use the children as bait, as revenge, as negotiation tools in a divorce. It has gotten ugly and not to mention expensive. Any time there is a fight you can be sure that the lawyers are involved and getting paid. This is another subject. We will not dwell on it here since the real subject is all about the kids!

Depending on the age of the children when a divorce occurs there can be various impacts that are hard to predict. Young children may not be impacted much, if the separation is amicable. However if there is a continuous fight between the parents, there will always be anxiety and self blame. This can increase as the kids get older when divorce occurs. They may even blame themselves for the divorce and suffer greatly as a result. Fighting over custody only makes it worse as well since this can re-enforce their anxiety about the divorce and the blame that they in turn take on.

Divorce and the Kids – They Did not Want the Kids to Suffer

Most parents would say that they never wanted the kids to suffer, however before they know it they are in the middle of a big fight with their spouse, the gloves come off and there is a huge fight. Everything at that point becomes a question of honor of winning over the other and it includes gaining custody of the kids as well. It really is a shame, but this is reality. If only people could decide to set their fight aside, divide assets fairly and treat the other spouse with respect, everything would be better.

We are not saying that you can prevent divorce, but you can do a better job of breaking up in order to protect the children when there is a divorce. Many spouse are looking for revenge, they have been embarrassed, they have been betrayed and some feel that they have been made fools off. If you are going to fool around, why not get divorced first. Otherwise you are going to trigger the emotions mentioned above and this brings on a war when it comes to divorce court.

Amicable Separations

One couple we know agreed to get divorced amicably and are friends to this day. They decide to put the kids first and to separate before either one of them had an affair. Since the separation, they both have had relationships. In fact the husband has been married twice and had to separate again. Through it all they both put the kids first. They made sure that they treated each other with respect in front of the kids as well as privately.

We think these kids are very well adjusted. They may be a bit spoiled, since there is some competition as there always is between parents. But overall this is pretty normal. It takes a lot of control as well as maturity for both parents to act in this manner. But we think it stems from showing each other respect in the first place and not betraying each other behind their backs. Just our opinion but they seem to make it work.

Send Your Comments

We would love to have comments on this blog about how you made separation work for you and your children. Yes we want comments from children as well who have a totally differently outlook on the impacts of their parents divorce on them as well. Feel free to leave multiple comments. Spam comments will be deleted.

Office relationship issues occur every day and sometimes it is caused  by poor office etiquette issues. This is a subject that I expect many people will be able to identify with. Almost all of us should be able to say they have experienced some sort of Office Etiquette infraction over their careers. Many have wondered what to do about it.

Office etiquette can be simply at the nuisance level. Or it can develop into a full blown war between two people. It can cause broken friendships and even legal consequences. The most important thing to remember is that none of us want to see something escalate beyond our control. We certainly do not want to see someone get hurt, yet it happens every day.

Nuisance Office Etiquette Issues

These situations can be classed as nuisance items simply because they really don’t get people upset. However they do waste time and they do bother people. With most cubicle type offices these days it is impossible to not overhear your neighbor discussing his or her job. Or even their personal life. It goes without saying that most of us just tune it all out. We focus on the work we are supposed to be doing.

Sometimes however it just gets too juicy to ignore. Or they get excited and raise their voices bringing the entire office into the discussion. A polite wave or tap on a desk wall usually does the trick if you are on good terms to begin with.

Then there is the office bore, who thinks the world revolves around him or her. They want the entire office to be in on their conversations. I recently experienced a situation were a supervisor would yell over the baffle at one of his people to join him at his desk or ask him a question. Of course the entire office is involved and your work is disrupted as well. Our offices were very close. The only way to have a private conversation is to find a conference room. No one was willing to do anything because he was the boss. They were worried about repercussions of saying anything.

Cell phone Office Etiquette – Non Existent

Everyone has also experienced this as well. In the office, on the bus, in a restaurant and just about everywhere. I think the worst was in a bathroom one day at work. You know I am sitting there doing my business and someone comes into the next stall and proceeds to ream someone out over the phone in a loud voice. I guess he thought it was private!

Office Etiquette When it Gets Personal

All of the above are truly nuisance issues until it gets personal. You can put up with a noisy office or someone talking on their phone too loud, however when the office bully gets going and begins throwing their weight around, then it gets to be more than nuisance.

Talking to your boss may help, confronting the person may help and ganging up on the person may help as well, however even the office bully has feelings.  The point is that you really need to step above the situation, be the bigger person and manage the situation so that it does not get out of hand. It is just to easy to escalate into a shouting match with the inevitable outcome that someone loses their job or their pride.

We have al heard about situations were people come back to the office and shoot a few people. This is the absolute worst situation and no one wants to ever see this happen. We all have a breaking point and one needs to take care not to push colleagues and friends over the this breaking point.

How to Handle Office Etiquette Issues

There is no one solution that will fit all cases. However for most people, good quality communication is the often the best solution for everyone. Try to avoid confrontations were you put someone on the defensive. A constructive environment often helps make a tense situation more palatable for everyone. Keep it professional and make sure that you do not paint the person into a corner.

Easy to say, hard to do when you are applying these guidelines in real situations. Never the less, if you can create a win – win situation for all parties, then you will have improved the office and all parties will be better for it. So instead of letting the anger build, and then explode, take some time to figure out the best approach to dealing with your situation and then chose the optimum time to implement it.

We would really like to hear from folks who have had to deal with these types of situations. Your comments are welcome, however Spam comments will be deleted. Many people will have solutions that work for them and we would like to hear about these solutions.